It's been a great school year. I taught US History for the first time and I really liked it. The kids were great.They really were, but to some degree, I think that I enjoyed teaching and my students more this year because I chose to carve time out NOT doing school stuff. I dropped a big commitment I had as an advisor for a club that I really loved. It was such a hard choice but, now that the year is almost over, I know it was a wise choice. I had more time, which meant more time to create. I produced many more paintings than the previous year and was able to be in the studio pretty consistently.
You'd think I'd be satisfied, but I'm not. So, I made a big and scary decision. I'm reducing my hours at work. The one that I get paid for. No, we're not living large and flush with cash. No, I'm not making tons of money selling paintings or teaching art classes. It feels selfish and decadent. The decision doesn't just impact me. I have a family.
I try to justify my decision with the excuse that my daughter will be in junior high and it would be nice to be around during this important period. Yea, really, she's fine. I just wanted to do this for myself. Needed to do it. I needed to at least try. When I was 35, I wrote a crazy dream in my journal. To have a studio. To paint full time. If I wait until retirement, I might get to the second part of that dream but, I'm impatient. I crunched the numbers and the money just didn't call to me as much as the time. I want the time and I want it now. So, next year my teaching schedule will be reduced which means I will have a big chunk of time in the afternoon to paint. It means tightening things up financially but, I am so, so excited. I am also scared, but aren't many of the great adventures in Life exciting and scary at the same time?